Do you ever just.. look in the mirror and don't see what you want to see? Like.. I have so many pretty, skinny, cute friends and i'm here like ' hi, uh.. yeah. hi. ' Ugh, i hate that feeling.
I don't know, you can say i'm a total loser because of this but a guy ( Actually.. idk, i don't know i won't call him a friend but we are more than just classmates so yeh. ) got a question a long time ago ' let me hear a couple pretty girls ' He said my name and a couple other friends. That made my day i can tell you, i mean.. Nobody calls me pretty EVER. Today he got the same question.. he said a lot of girls ( and yes, they are prettier than i am but.. ) but he didn't said my name. I didn't really care on that moment, well, it wasn't a great feeling but you know, i'm not thát weak ( i'm very weak but yes. ) He got another question ' You didn't said bunny? ' And he replied ' She's very sweet but, yeh you know. ' And wow, that came in like a wreckingball. Even when he didn't taught i was pretty (i'm not.) He could have said something like ' oh yeh, Bunny. ' or something. But no, what he actually tried to say ' No she's ugly bye, ' And i know i'm weak and i know i shouldn't care so much.. so what?! But idk, it makes me really sad. Knowing people see me as a ugly motherfucker. I know i'm not skinny like all the other girls ( i have curves, yes. ) and i know i don't have like the perfect small nose and the big eyes.. the perfect smile and long hair. I don't wear short skirts and high heels, i'm just wearing skinny jeans and oversized sweaters, lol.
Ok, i've said enough, pfff, i just had to tell someone. Now i can live in peace, haha.
Lots of love,