zondag 17 november 2013

I'm gonna wear that invisible crown.

What i said yesterday, i wanna wear a tight dress. i think i want more. i need more. I'm so insecure about every single flaw. I feel so bad in my own skin. I need to change that.. if i don't think i'm beautiful, who will? Things really need to change. I'm gonna embrace my body. Maybe i won't be easy and i will think a lot of times ' why didn't i born prettier? ' But i think that when i keep going on and i will see the things that are beautiful everything will be okay. I'm not gonna be that insecure, shy girl anymore. I'm gonna wear that invisible crown and fucking rock it.
Everyday i will look in the mirror and tell myself the good things instead of all the bad things. I will embrace my curves. Maybe society doesn't think i'm pretty with my big nose and small mouth but guurrll, i'm gonna show my classmates, the world, the universe that i am pretty.. Cause i am, but i just don't see it.
once when i was like nine years old my teacher told me ' look everyday in the mirror and say ' i'm beautiful ' the first view days you won't believe it but one day, when you keep doing it, you will open your eyes. ' At that moment i just laughed and looked away. Freaking bullshit he was telling me, right? Nooooo, after all these years I see.. he was right. And i'm gonna follow his advice.
i'm gonna learn to love myself again.

zaterdag 16 november 2013

My goal this christmas

Idk, normally i'm not that kinda girl who sets goals and shit like that. I know when i set a goal i can only be mad at myself because i know it won't go like i imagined it. Beside that i don't have anything to set goals to. My life is just okay, you know. No very special, not very boring just.. just okay. But this christmas i have a goal, i have a goal that's quite important for me. I know i'm not gonna help the world with it or something but it's a big step for myself. It's gonna sound quite dumb but.. this christmas.. this christmas i'm gonna wear a tight dress. Wowwww, i said it. I said it, wow ohmygod. Now i have to do it, right? gosh. It sounds dumb i know but my body always been a issue. I'm not as skinny as my friends are. I'm not fat, no i'm not but it just feels like it is. I just don't feel confidence with myself and i know as long as i'm not fine with myself others will see that. I mean, why would anyone love me if i don't love myself? I need to embrace my imperfections. Embrace my curves and embrace allll the thing society doesn't like, This christmas i'm gonna wear a tight dress. I'm gonna shine, i'm gonna rock that motherfucking dress. I'm ready, Challenge accepted baby. Challenge accepted.

woensdag 16 oktober 2013

i just really like smoking people.

Call me dumb, call me weird, I don't really care because idk what it is. I'm just obsessed with smoking people. And i know it's not right thing and i would never smoke by myself but i just really like others who are doing it. The guys the most, wauwww, you know when they have that kind of messy hair and they are smoking and the smoke just flies away, i'm so obessed with it. I think girls who are smoking is pretty hot too. When they have tattoo's and stretched ears and when they're smoking i become lesbian in a second, hahaha.
I just can't deny it. and yesyesyes it's dumb and expensive and unhealthy but i think it's pretty hot.
Maybe it isn't something to be proud of and i know that but i just wanted to know or i'm the only one, let me know. What do you think? Hot or not?

vrijdag 11 oktober 2013

' She learned me to smile. '

Having that one friend who you love to dead. I didn't tell you about Kitty, right? Kitty is my bestest best friend in the whole world. No, she isn't just an imagine, she's real, haha ( I know, why should I deserve the bestest friend in the world? Idk, ask jesus. ) I don't know her so long, i was nine years old ( now i'm 13 ) I moved to this village and i met Kitty at school. At first we didn't really talk, i was the shy kid, you know. When i talked about Kitty with my mum i always talked about ' the girl with the green eyes ' I was to shy to ask Kitty's name. All i knew about her was the green, green eyes the has. Like, when you see her the first thing you see are the big green beautiful eyes. After a couple months we started to talk, we matched so good! And since that moment we NEVER grew apart. She was me, i was her , we were one. We were like peanutbutter and jelly, like ying and yang. We were always together. She's the one that thought me to be myself, to be not afraid to smile, she's the funniest girl i ever met. We dance, we smile, we jump, i think she's the only one on this entire planet i can be completely myself. It's sad, we don't sit at the same school. I can't see her everyday but we try to see each other at least every week. I can't live without her.
This summer we went to France together ( yes, my parents came with us. i told you i was 13, lol. ) So much adventures, the best vacation ever. I can talk for hours about her, she's mine. My best friend, my little kitty cat x

woensdag 9 oktober 2013

cheek piercings.

Ohmygawwwwwwd, my love for cheek piercings is so big. Like.. they can make you so cute and so sexy and idk, i just love them, my question ' Do you have to be sexy as fuck for cheek piercings, or make the cheek piercings you sexy as fuck? ' i mean, seriously, did you ever ever ever saw someone who didn't looked perfect with cheek piercing? Because i didn't. No one even looked a little bit not perfect, they are all per-fec-tion. Ohmygawd, i love them so much. I know, or you serious love them or you really hate them. There's no one between, but i love them for sure!
here are some picsss of cheekpiercing girls! ( i'm sure you gonna cry because this is perfection, i warned you.)

' be yourself. ' but who am i?

Am i the only one who has all different sides? Like, i want to be that cool pink hair girl who is super hot and have all those piercings every where, i want to be the cute one who wears dresses and skirts all the time, i want to be the ' swagger ' girl with a baseball jacket and a snapback and high knee socks you know, i want to be the hipster with the oversized sweaters and beanies, i want to be a slut with porn blond hair and short skirts but instead of all that i'm just here like the most boring girl in the whole city with no attitude or name. I'm just here like ' hi ' you know. it's very frusterating, hahaha.
I think it's also how i feel, some weeks i'm sooo into the scene style and all that stufffff but the next day i want to be the perfect pink barbie. I have so many sides, i don't even know who i am. ' Be yourself. ' yes, i will BUT IDK WHO I AM. ugh, issues.
short article but made with a lot of love i guess, let me know, do you have te same problem? haha.

lots of love,

fuck this and fuck that

Mirror, mirror, can't you see? What you show is killing me..

Do you ever just.. look in the mirror and don't see what you want to see? Like.. I have so many pretty, skinny, cute friends and i'm here like ' hi, uh.. yeah. hi. ' Ugh, i hate that feeling.
I don't know, you can say i'm a total loser because of this but a guy ( Actually.. idk, i don't know i won't call him a friend but we are more than just classmates so yeh. ) got a question a long time ago ' let me hear a couple pretty girls ' He said my name and a couple other friends. That made my day i can tell you, i mean.. Nobody calls me pretty EVER. Today he got the same question.. he said a lot of girls ( and yes, they are prettier than i am but.. ) but he didn't said my name. I didn't really care on that moment, well, it wasn't a great feeling but you know, i'm not thát weak ( i'm very weak but yes. ) He got another question ' You didn't said bunny? ' And he replied ' She's very sweet but, yeh you know. ' And wow, that came in like a wreckingball. Even when he didn't taught i was pretty (i'm not.) He could have said something like ' oh yeh, Bunny. ' or something. But no, what he actually tried to say ' No she's ugly bye, ' And i know i'm weak and i know i shouldn't care so much.. so what?! But idk, it makes me really sad. Knowing people see me as a ugly motherfucker. I know i'm not skinny like all the other girls ( i have curves, yes. ) and i know i don't have like the perfect small nose and the big eyes.. the perfect smile and long hair. I don't wear short skirts and high heels, i'm just wearing skinny jeans and oversized sweaters, lol.
Ok, i've said enough, pfff, i just had to tell someone. Now i can live in peace, haha.

Lots of love,